John Carpenter’s original 1978 Halloween (not to be confused with Rob Zombie’s underrated Halloween reboots) was arguably the best horror film ever made (even though it could have been better).  It’s about Michael Myers, a six-year-old boy who stabs his babysitting older sister to death on Halloween night, spends 15 years in a mental hospital, then escapes and returns to his hometown to slaughter more babysitters on Halloween night, the only survivor being virgin Laurie Strode, played by Jamie Lee Curtis.

In Halloween II we learn that Laurie is actually Michael Myers’s (yes you use ‘s after a name that ends in s, contra my beloved grade 10 English teacher) long lost sister, but Halloween (2018) is ignoring Halloween II and all the other sequels, so in this film, she’s not Myers’s sister, she’s just the one surviving babysitter from his original massacre.

Carpenter never liked the sister plot-twist (even though he wrote it) because giving Myers a motive ruins his mystery.  But the motive itself was so mysterious that to me it added to his mystery, causing me to diagnose Myers with autism.  But my autism diagnosis does not necessarily apply to Halloween (2018) since the sister motive is gone.

Another way this film rewrites Halloween history is that at the end of the original film,  Myers is shot six times then vanishes.  In Halloween II we learn he just got up and walked away and is apparently un-killable.  But with Halloween (2018) replacing Halloween II,  he’s no longer supernaturally invisible; instead he vanished because he was taken into police custody after being shot.

So in Halloween (2018) Myers has been in a mental hospital since 1978!  What kind of life has Myers had?  Confined to a mental hospital from age six to age 21 (never speaking a word to anyone), escaping for one day of killing, and then spending the next FOURTY YEARS in confinement (presumably also never speaking to anyone).  In total, Myers has been institutionalized for FIFTEY FIVE years!  I wonder how many tax dollars have been spent on this man who’s done nothing but kill people.

In all that time under psychiatric care, you’d think someone would give him an IQ test like the WAIS.  But he doesn’t speak so you can’t give him any of the verbal subtests, and a 61-year-old man who’s been hospitalized since age six has very little opportunity to learn general knowledge.  Did he even watch TV?

They could give him the performance subtests but Myers moves so slowly that he would never assemble the blocks within the time limit, even if he figured out the solution.  They could give him one of the power subtests like Matrix reasoning, where all he needs to do is point at the correct answer, but unschooled people are perhaps not motivated to engage with such abstract tests.

Even though the average IQ of people with no formal schooling at all is very low, in the past I estimated Carpenter’s Myers to have a respectable IQ of 92 since his sister was the brilliant Laurie Strode.  But since Laurie is not his sister in Halloween (2018) I need a new estimate for this version.