Pumpkin Person rating: 7.5/10
So after the absurd rumor that this show was about me, I decided to watch it.
The only thing this show has in common with me is that it’s narrated by a popular sassy blogger but while I blog about evolutionary psychology and horror, Gossip Girl blogs about teenagers attending an exclusive prep school on Manhattan’s Upper East Side.
This is the perfect show for Lion of the Blogosphere to blog about because it’s all about New York’s super upper class and the importance they place in getting into an Ivy League school, but not just any Ivy League school, the “holy trinity”: Harvard, Princeton, and Yale. Lion could simply stream the whole series on Netflix.
The show’s female villain, the manipulative scheming spoiled Blair Waldorf is obsessed with getting into Yale and scores a 2200 out of 2400 on her SATs which by my formula equates to a Richard Nixon IQ of 145 (U.S. norms); 143 (white norms).
The show’s male villain, Chuck Bass (the son of a corrupt billionaire) simply hires some bookish boy to pretend to be him and write the SAT with a fake ID in Chuck’s name (even though being black, the bookish boy looks nothing like Chuck)
Chuck does the same for his stepsister, the show’s star Serena van der Woodsen, played by the extremely charismatic Blake Lively.
Serena is too low on psychopathy to use the SAT score Chuck bought for her so decides to take the big bad test herself at a later date. We’re never told how she scores, but Yale does send her a hand written letter asking her to visit the campus, but this has more to do with her celebrity status as a a New York socialite than her academic record.
We never see Gossip Girl but her mischievous voice narrates every episode with oneliners such as “Lordy, Lordy, look who’s 40” when one of the teenage boys is dating a much older woman.
The show seems to be aimed primarily at teenagers, especially teenage girls, but since teenage girls sometimes watch TV with their moms, there are some subplots about the romances of the parents of the show’s teenagers.
“And who am I?” teases Gossip Girl at the start of every show. “That’s one secret I’ll never tell” Maybe the secret was revealed in the show’s final season but please place a spoiler alert if you’ve watched that far.
Each show ends with Gossip Girl saying “you know you love me, XOXO”