[Note from PP, Nov 14, 2020: The following is a guest post by commenter “illuminaticatblog” and does not necessarily reflect the views of Pumpkin Person]

I have several problems at once. Autism, psychosis, emotional neglect. They all mash up into some schizoid temperament. The reason I act the way I do is that I am trying to keep stable from all this chaos I need under control.

autists are literalists, they take in what everything is as-is.
schizos read into noise things that are not there.
schizos see intentions/hidden meanings in it all

Schizoids take the hidden meaning literally not personally. They analyze it rather than believe it. They do not think the psychosis is real. That is the difference between the schizoid and schizophrenic. Analysis is not the same as logic. Logic alone does not evaluate in order to organize. This is the difference between the schizoid and the autist.

Schizoids do not have conspiracies (synthesis). Analysis categorizes the psychosis patterns. Schizoids have emotional problems. The reason for the analysis is to keep emotionally stable. Instead of or acting out emotionally. Prolonged emotional stress, obsession, trauma lead to complexes. Groups of associations related to a core issue. This happens randomly so in schizophrenics hidden meanings get caught up in the emotions one relates to complexes. Random connections ensue. Schizoids have the least random complexes because they put all emotion into mental organization.

I try not to act on my emotions. I analyze things a huge amount. What makes me different yet the same as a schizoid is that I rationalize more but much less than neurotypicals. Full-blown schizoids rationalize the least of any mental condition but to do this they must suppress emotional attachment to anything irrational. Not emotion itself but what science and philosophy say is irrational. That means rationalizations need emotional temperance instead of embracing them.

I guess that I still rationalize things but have my psychosis almost under control. The random noise seems to have meaning but I am not creating anything from it I am categorizing from it. Simply does this meaning reflect what is actually in reality? What are all the options?

In my magic practices. I’ve seen what happens because of intention. I controlled the hallucinations like in a lucid dream. I accepted the messages that I let guide me. I did what they told me. I wrote it all down and accepted the contract. Then the hallucinations happened. I’ve tried this several times. And it worked twice. This could be considered schizophrenic because it was an episode but this can be induced in non-schizophrenics. Schizos because they see the messages or feel them get them everywhere all the time like being watched. I tapped into that.

It is important to watch your emotions carefully. Like posture, you need to keep them perfectly aligned and not sit down too much. Slouched emotions are not good. This will help with psychosis. And thinking through things.