I thought it would be fun to try to write a post while drunk out of mind. My colleagues and I believe in working hard and playing hard, so after an incredibly productive week at work, it was time to get trashed, and so the designated driver parked his car at parliament hill and a bunch of us went bar hopping. I just wanted to get started, but one of my colleagues kept insisting that each bar we entered was too low class, and we needed to find somewhere better, even though the patrons in all the bars in that area were dominated by impeccably well dressed white collar professionals such as government policy analysts, lawyers, and high tech types, all of whom lived in the most educated city in the most educated country of the World’s most powerful continent. My social IQ is not high enough to distinguish between very high class and super high class, so I relied on my colleague’s judgement.

Once we found somewhere he approved of, I ordered two long island ice teas which came to $13.95. I gave the bartender $20 and asked for $2 change. He thanked me so profusely that I feared I tipped too much, so the next time, I ordered two long island ice teas, I asked for $3 change. This time he thanked me not at all. So the third time I ordered two long island ice teas, I was back to asking for only $2 change.

I then started working the jukebox and an extremely attractive young woman started looking at me nervously, like she feared I was going to put on hip hop or something. Instead I put on 1973 by James Blunt.

Followed by Last Friday Night, by Katy Perry:

Followed by Telling Stories by the fabulous Tracy Chapman:

Followed by a song that extremely few people are smart enough to understand: ummm ummm ummm

Followed by Hotel California

When I put on Hotel California several well heeled couples got up to slow dance. My fiance wasn’t there so I had no one to dance with. It irritated me that these couples were enjoying the song I paid for more than I was.

Lastly, I put on the theme song of my life. The elegant My Way by Frank Sinatra: