[Update April 6, 2017: For an alternative take on this topic, please see Dominance and Gender by Afrosapiens]
Since becoming a celebrity, I’m always looking at what other famous bloggers are writing about, and few bloggers are more famous than Chateau Heartiste. To countless men on the internet looking for love, Heartiste is God, and rightfully so. Of course skeptics think the type of dating tips found in the manosphere are useless because women are either physically attracted to you or they’re not, and there’s nothing you can do to manipulate them. But that’s only half true.
Recently Heartiste was blogging about the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey, a book turned movie about a woman who starts dating a very dominating man. Heartise writes:
I believe women are aroused by assholes qua assholes because assholes are, above all, INTERESTING men. They aren’t like the mediocre masses of rapidly feminizing beta males. You want masculine, virtuous men of the West? The path to that nirvana is blazed by the swashbuckling assholes.
I remember in university I was doing some presentation with a complete moron, who kept pestering me with stupid questions about when I was supposed to speak and when he was supposed to speak. Finally, I lost my temper and yelled and berated him for his utter incompetence in front of the entire class. But what I’ll never forget was how sexually aroused a female classmate was upon observing my act of dominance. The expression on her face is seared permanently into my brain. [update march 29, 2017: One reader thought this was mean, but the guy was way too popular and over-confident to have been bothered by a nobody like me putting him in his place for one brief moment]
I believe that in prehistoric times, women who were sexually aroused by submissive men had fewer surviving offspring, because those men got dominated by other men, and thus couldn’t provide for their women and children. As a result, largely the genes of women who like dominant men, and thus like being dominated, got passed on. Similarly, men who like feeling dominant, also passed on more genes, because men who are dominant in all aspects of their lives acquire more resources and status, which in prehistoric times, meant more genetic fitness.
But there’s a dark side to this. Because so many women like being dominated, they are more likely to tolerate physical and emotional abuse in relationships, and are less likely to strive to positions of power in society. In some ways, to be sexually fulfilled, women must sacrifice their dignity.
There’s also a dark side for men. Because men are turned on by being dominant, they are more likely to engage in rape and other sadistic acts, because for some men, consensual sex is a turnoff. If the woman is agreeing to the sex, she’s not being dominated, which ruins the experience for a lot of men. The dark truth is that a lot of men are so evil, they go home every night and have sex with their wives, while fantasizing about jumping out of the bushes and raping some completely random lady on the street.
So how does understanding all this help men get women to be attracted to them? The trick is to make women feel dominated, but a man should never, under any circumstances, hit a woman, rape a woman, or cause her physical harm. You should also never play some disgusting S&M role playing game. For one thing, if a women is agreeing to be dominated, then by definition she’s not being dominated, since she’s getting what she wants, and she knows it, and more importantly, she knows you know it.
A man should never, ever, EVER, hit a woman or rape a woman, but that doesn’t mean you can’t show your superiority in other ways. Most women suck at video games, chess, and pocket billiards, so get her to play those games with you and obliterate her every time. Remind her that you’re better at math than she is, and you’re better at fixig things around the house. Be arrogant, but come across as sincere in your arrogance. But be subtle enough about it that she never catches on that you’re using some kind of strategy on her.
The other key is to never disrespect your girlfriend in front of others, especially family, coworkers, or friends. What you must understand is that women are multidimensional beings. Just because the sexual part of them wants to be dominated, doesn’t mean there aren’t other parts of her that want respect.
So give a woman plenty of respect, but never for any dominant traits. Never praise her intelligence, her income, her career; instead tell her how pretty she is, how sexy she is…praise her cooking, her cleaning, her body…tell her she’d make an excellent mother.
The problem is, if a man does all this, and it works, then he ends up with a woman who enjoys being dominated, which means that in the relationship, the man doesn’t get to fulfill his genetic need to dominate, because dominating a woman who wants to be dominated is by definition not domination.
[Update Nov 22, 2018: This article might be getting endorsed by a popular sex blog. If you’re over 18 and interested in sex, check it out]