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WARNING:  If you’ve never seen the original 1980 Friday the 13th film, this post contains spoilers.

Pumpkin Person previously blogged about my idea for continuing the Friday the 13th series, but now there’s word that a Friday the 13th reboot is being planned.  In other words, they’re not planning on continuing from the original Friday the 13th series or even from the 2009 reboot by Marcus Nispel, but instead are planning on starting over a second time.  One of the problems with the 2009 remake in my opinion is that unlike the very first Friday the 13th film in 1980, the 2009 reboot did not include much of  Mrs. Voorhees (Jason’s mother), the woman who started it all.   The film makers assumed that Friday fans just wanted more Jason, and we do, but if you’re going to start all over, you have to honor the genius of the original film.

What made the original 1980 Friday the 13th so brilliantly ironic was that the most graphic, brutal, and creative murders that most American audiences had ever seen at the time were being committed by an apple pie baking all American mom (Mrs. Voorhees) played brilliantly by Betsy Palmer.   The fact that her son would go on to become one of the most prolific and brutal killers in the history of fiction, only added to her legend.

No one could ever replace Palmer in that iconic role, but a good remake is not about recreating what’s already been done, but creating an alternative version.  The new Mrs. Voorhees should be similar in some ways, but also bring something new to the table.

Enter Sarah Palin.  Who better to play the mother of the hockey masked forest dwelling Jason than the self-described Pit Bull-like hockey mom from woodsy Alaska.  Like Mrs. Voorhees who wanted Camp Crystal lake closed because of the poor supervision of her disabled son, Palin is also an advocate for special needs children, and like the ax wielding bow and arrow shooting Mrs. Voorhees, the outdoor hunting and fishing enthusiast, and rugged bootstrapping conservative Palin, looks like she could find her way around a campground, hunting socially liberal pot smoking sexually active teenagers who lack Republican family values.

This may sound like a joke but I’m deadly serious.  Palin, with her trademark Alaska folksiness,  against a dark forest lit only by full moon, could be horror gold.  They may need to put her in a couple padded sweaters and high heel boots to make her look more intimidating, but she could be perfect in the role, and casting the most admired conservative woman in America as a homicidal maniac would create buzz for the franchise, not to mention bring Palin a whole new non-political fan base.  But if Palin’s not interested, I suspect lookalikes Tina Fey and Julianne Moore might be.  

 

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